The art of nudity

The first time I saw a naked woman
It was on the internet at the age of 12
And I was…. Confused
I’d heard so much about the female form about how beautiful it was ,                            how life changing your first glimpse was supposed to be,
How you were supposed to feel a burning wave of passion,
About how you were supposed to feel something more than clinical detachment,
But being 12 years old I put it out of my head. Who cares,
Only 5 years down the line when I first saw actual nakedness did i recognise the significance of nudity,
The way that a thigh is just any thigh until it’s a smooth plane over which my hands want to lose themselves,
A shoulder is only a shoulder until your lips want to brand a pattern onto to it,
But the thing about nudity is it doesn’t just go one way ,

seeing her without her layers, left me just as exposed as it left her, the first time I heard her say the words I love you I for a second felt naked ,                         unclothed and lost because I didn’t have anything to say in return,

the most terrifying thing about nudity is that it’s perfectly fine as long as it’s a stranger as long as a shoulder is just a shoulder and thigh is just a thigh

But when her skin is no longer her skin but a map etched with a story as old as time itself,
It’s no longer about just seeing a naked woman,
It’s about the act of worship ,
I felt like a man dragged in front of the sacrificial altar gazing up at the idol over the narthax ,
And wondering whether it was even supposed to feel like this,
About where this had been all his life
Being naked wasn’t just about taking off her clothes and mine ,
It was so much more,
I felt like I was peeling of the skin from my bones and standing there more naked then the day I was born,
I felt unclothed even though I was under 3 layers and
I felt so exposed …..
The first time she told me she loved me
She closed my eyes whispered it in my ear ,
It felt like the screaming chorus to a song we’d been singing for years before we met ,
The stories the secret, the lost moments all felt a thousand times more resonant
The first time I saw a beautiful women naked , I didn’t even have my eyes open.